discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
