Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize