dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
