Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
