quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
