she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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