cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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