u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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