I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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