Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
