Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
