yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
