I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I can feel your judgement through the phone
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
