Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
