My first STD was from a foam party
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
