you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
