I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
