I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
