I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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