In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Don't make out with my wife yet
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
