puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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