Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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