Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I skipped work to stalk him.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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