What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
