I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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