if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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