Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She told me I should be a condom model.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
