K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
