did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
