Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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