dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
do herpes really smell.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
