I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
