His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
