I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm passing your future prison.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
