am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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