Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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