Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
