ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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