Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
