i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
