I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
