i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize