I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
