the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
