A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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