The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
