Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
