You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sober January is a disaster.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I will pee on everything he values.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize