If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
