When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You took a bar mat shot.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
