this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Terrible idea I love it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
