Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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