I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize