break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
