I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
