How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
